Controlling Anger

No matter what game you are in, precision can’t hurt. Whether it be homing in on someone with anger problems or using a scope mount to direct a laser weapon, precision counts. When a friend comes to you explaining how angy their mate makes them feel, you have to be extremely careful on how you comment. Zeroing in on a complex relationship is not an easy task. Taking pot shots at resolutions is risky business. If the person is coming to you for direction, make sure you know the facts from both sides before you steer them and your friendship in the wrong direction.

Can you imagine a fifteen year relationship getting blown up over a condo. That is exactly what happened when my cousin and her husband couldn’t see eye to eye over where to live. At first the disagreement seemed easily overcome, but when my cousin, Sheri, called her husband self-centered and being all about him and she had no say, his reaction was to shut down and disappear. I, to this day feel that if she could have controlled her temper and not let the anger control her, they would still be together. Now he lives in a Burnaby condo and she’s staying with me.

My dear neighbor, whom I care very much for, has this annoying habit of bringing her high-strung 12 oz. lap dog everywhere she goes. It has this shrill to its bark that sounds like chalk on a blackboard. What gets me past annoyed and closer to angry is that she, my neighbor, thinks the dog’s habit of scratching coffee tables during her visits is perfectly cute. When your coffee table is a family heirloom passed down for five generations it is not great fun to watch FiFi scraping away. I do control myself, but I am afraid I will some day perpertrate caninicide (if there is such a word).

Can anyone out there tell me a more disturbing thing than being kept in the dark about something that can totally benefit the lives of all of us. I personally get very angry when I witness avarice and greed. It is disgusting how some individuals can live with themslves when they pull a stunt like that. Sure, I advocate controlling anger, but one must admit that is a hard pill to swallow when indifference toward others dominates community good will. The concept of infinite banking would really have changed the lives of many had it been made available to us. Well. I guess, better late than never.

There are few things more stressfull than a home improvement job. My condo renovation created more problems between me and my fiancee than anything we’d ever experienced. I had to bring out all my books and tapes to remind me how to control my anger. It seemed everything I opted for from the cabinet work to the color of the walls, she disagreed with. The up side was that when the job was done, all the concessions I had made to keep her happy turned out to be great. One of the tapes I listened to put things in proper perspective when it said “for a happy life, have a happy wife.” Yes, she is now my happy wife.

There aren’t many things that make me angrier than having someone, of let’s say less than average intelligence, strutting around thinking they have gotten away with pulling the wool over my eyes. Just because I didn’t admonish someone for a certain act, doesn’t, in any way, mean that I bought or accepted the action. I feel like there is an industrial mixer in my gut when I witness that “gotcha!” smirk on their face. It is then that I must reflect on all the ways I relate to others to control their anger. I guess we all have our different demons and switches.

This rather upset young woman writes to me concerning the seemingly perpetual nagging she is burdened with from her mother. She says she loves her mom very much but is storing a ton of anger from the constant nagging. We discussed a totally random way to deal with it. She went out and bought a noisy paint agitator and a metal five gallon pail. She mounted the agitator on the pail. Every time her mom began to rant, she turned on the noise. It was a strange technique. After the fourth time she did it, mom got the message. It was almost funny and definitely effective.

Certainly I am known to preach controlling anger. BUT! Sometimes you are shocked when you discover you have been kept in the dark and that it could have improved your life. It may take me a few days at least to swallow the ire caused by my discovering infinite banking about ten years too late. How dare the upper crust keep this from us. What happened to the principle of for and by the people. I guess wherever there is grass, there will always be the threat of snakes. I may be sending the wrong message, but it sure is an honest one which is more than I can say about some people.

I remember an incident at a hotel in LA last year. There was this guest at the concierge complaining about a restaurant he was suggested to go to that was in his estimation, HORRIBLE! His pique of anger was off the charts and the manager was called in to contol him. There I was freshly back from a stay at Hotel Victoria, knowing this would never happen there. I did however, have a similar experience in Nassau, where I was positive concirege sent me to this grease trap just to accommodate a pay-off. Sorry to say, but this happens all too often to tourists.

Talk about getting angry and seeing no way to control it. My recent discovery of what is known as infinite banking has my veins popping in my neck. If I had known about this process at its conception, my financial life would be in extremely better condition. It brings to mind the carte blanche that congress members have when it comes to insider trading. I now have entered into this process and could not be more excited about building some personal wealth for my family by owning my own bank. I can also have a self directed IRA, saving fees and watching my stash grow.